This transition is a normal part of life, but it isn’t always easy. One of the best ways to handle these changes is by practicing healthy boundaries. 

The “Personal Bubble” Concept 

To understand boundaries, imagine that everyone has a personal “bubble” around them. Inside your bubble are your own thoughts, opinions, feelings, and actions. Every time you interact with someone, your bubbles come together. 

• Too Much Space: If the bubbles are too far apart, the relationship can feel cold or lonely. You might feel like you don’t really know what is going on in each other’s lives. 

• Overlapping Bubbles: If the bubbles overlap, one person usually ends up trying to “fix” or “rescue” the other. This can make the adult child feel smothered and the parent feel exhausted from solving problems that aren’t theirs to solve. 

• The Healthy Balance: The goal is to be close without overlapping. This means being supportive and warm while remembering that each person is responsible for their own “bubble.” 

Three Steps to a Better Relationship 

When you keep your bubbles close but separate, you create a stronger bond. You can: 

1. Acceptance: Acknowledge that your adult child is responsible for their own thoughts and choices. 

2. Set Limits: Give yourself permission to say “no” or step back to protect your own peace of mind. 

3. Collaborate: Have honest, respectful conversations where you work together as equals. 

Think of a boundary as a respectful bridge rather than a wall. It provides the space needed for a meaningful connection as your relationship moves into this new stage of life. Setting and maintaining health boundaries won’t eliminate every twist and turn of the emotional rollercoaster, but it can help smooth the ride. 

The good news is that there is a tool that can help in this challenging role: gratitude. Gratitude is the simple act of expressing thanks for what one has. And it is one of the most powerful positive emotions. Research has shown that only 10% of our happiness stems from our life circumstances. While about 40% stems from the choices we make and the way we think about things. This means that we can choose to practice gratitude and see a boost in our happiness and wellbeing. Practicing gratitude can be a powerful way to cope with exhaustion and build resilience. It can help caregivers find positivity and strength even in the hardest aspects of their work. So, if gratitude can have such a significant impact, how do we start practicing it in our daily lives?

Gratitude Practices

There are many ways to express our gratitude. Let us look at a few you can put into practice today.

• 3 Good Things and Their Causes. Write down three things each day that went well for you. Then try to find the cause of each one. You could even keep a “gratitude journal” to write in each day.
• Reflection. Use a guided audio or reflect on your own. This can be as simple as thinking through the past 24 hours and remembering something pleasant you saw. Or you can think of beautiful in nature. Something kind that someone did for you, or that you did for someone else. Imagine or write down the details and how it felt in the moment.
• A Letter of Gratitude. Write a letter or a note expressing your appreciation for someone who did something special for you. In this letter, address the person directly. Be specific about the event. And share how it affected you then and why it is still with you. (You do not actually have to send the letter, but you can. When you do this, you not only boost your gratitude, but you also build your relationship.)

The simple practice of gratitude is an incredibly powerful way to increase the happiness you feel and aid in preventing the burnout that many caregivers experience. If you want to dive deeper into gratitude, Learn to Live’s Resilience program is a great place to start.