At its core, CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are interconnected. The way we think about ourselves, and our situations directly influences how we feel and act. Sometimes we struggle to reach goals, not because we lack motivation or ability, but because of unhelpful thought patterns getting in the way. CBT helps us identify and change these patterns so we can move toward our goals with clarity and confidence. 

For example, imagine someone who wants to start exercising regularly but keeps putting it off. A CBT-based approach might begin by exploring the thoughts that fuel procrastination, such as “I’ll never stick with it anyway” or “I’m too tired to start today.” Can you imagine how these kinds of thoughts can lower motivation, make us feel discouraged, or lead to procrastination? By challenging and replacing them with more balanced thoughts – like “ It’s possible I won’t be perfect at sticking with it, but any effort I make still counts as progress.” or “Maybe I don’t have the energy for everything today, but I can do one small step.” – we can start to shift our mindset. Over time, practicing these new ways of thinking can lift mood, increase motivation, and help turn small, consistent steps into lasting change. 

While the cognitive side of CBT is what often comes to mind for those of us considering using it, the behavioral side is equally important. Behavioral tools can also play a key role in helping us follow through. For example, behavioral activation involves getting active and putting ourselves in more rewarding situations. The idea is that often, feeling better follows the action – once we start moving, we feel energized and encouraged to continue. This can be especially helpful in reaching our goals when initial motivation fades or setbacks occur. Returning to the exercise example: instead of waiting to “feel like” it, we might plan to put on workout clothes right after waking up or schedule a 10-minute walk during lunch. By committing to these actions, we create opportunities to take steps toward our goals rather than waiting for motivation to strike first.  

Ultimately, CBT empowers us and helps us build more self-awareness, discipline, and confidence, which are essential ingredients for achieving any meaningful goal. By learning to manage our thoughts and behaviors intentionally, we are not just changing habits; we also can start to reach goals that once felt out of reach. 

If you do catch yourself in a spiral of worried thoughts, there are steps you can take. One powerful way to help you slow down and get yourself out of the spiral is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness means staying present and aware without judgment. This allows you to do a few things: you can simply observe that you’re having these thoughts; you can remind yourself that the thoughts and feelings are only temporary; you can then ask yourself: “What truly matters to me right now?” and “How can my values guide me to refocus my time and energy in a meaningful way?” 

The practice of mindfulness can become particularly valuable as we age. We can stop ourselves from getting lost in stories about what the changes of aging might mean. We can continue to focus on what we value most – even if this changes over time. No matter what is that you value, mindfulness can help guide you to live according to your values rather than your fears. 

Turning our attention toward what we value is an important step. It’s also important to take meaningful action. Behavioral activation is a powerful tool that helps us do just that. Activation focuses on taking small steps to increase positive activities. We can use it to create meaningful connections to counter the loneliness that many feel as we age.   

Creating connections will look different for everyone. You might start by calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Or getting lunch with a family member. You could consider finding others who share your interests. Maybe you do this by volunteering for a cause you care about or joining a club.  

The goal is not to recreate the social life you may have had in the past. Who we are and what matters to will change with us as we age. We want to use mindfulness to stay present. And to direct our attention to what matters most. Activation can help us build connections. You want to use both tools in a way that will feel meaningful for who you are now. 

As you continue to practice, those spirals of worry and feelings of loneliness begin to lose their grip. You can continue to grow and find new meaning and purpose with each new season of life.  

When you exercise, you experience a release of a number of chemicals that can help to naturally improve mood. And the benefits go beyond mood. You can also experience improved sleep, clearer thinking, and greater resilience.

Sustainable exercise routines start with connecting movement to what matters most to you. Our personal values can serve as our North Star.Values are not goals to achieve but rather directions to move toward. They represent what matters most to us. Whether it is connection, creativity, compassion, or courage – knowing what truly matters helps us make decisions that align with who we are or who we want to become.

When we connect physical activity to our core values, exercise can change from a chore into a meaningful practice. Think of someone who values resilience. Each workout can become an act of building a more resilient mindset. Maybe for you, connection matters most. You can try group fitness classes to bring that connection into your workouts.

Identifying our values is the first step. Then there are a number of practical Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) tools to help move us from intention to action:

• Challenge unhelpful thoughts. Transform “I’m too tired” into “Even ten minutes of movement will energize me”.
• Create small behavior experiments. Test and track whether brief daily walks actually improve your mood.
• Use habit science. Add brief movement to existing routines like stretching right after brushing your teeth in the morning or doing squats while you wait for your coffee to brew.

The journey toward better mental and physical health does not require huge life changes. Small, consistent steps aligned with your values create lasting change. Consider what type of movement you can add to your routine today. Schedule it in. And if you want to dive deeper: Learn to Live has several programs and resources that can help you align your daily physical activities with your values. This can bring you one step closer to your well-being goals.

And many of us can relate, in a way. We can land a good job. We can get that promotion. We can lead projects well for years. And still, we have a hard time feeling we deserve the success. What Maya Angelou described in that quote, and what so many professionals struggle with, is called imposter syndrome. This is when we doubt our skills, talents, or accomplishments. And we fear that we will be proven a fraud despite our success. 

As we celebrate Black History Month, it’s crucial to recognize how Black professionals often deal with imposter syndrome in the workplace. Historical barriers have increased these feelings of self-doubt. Yet throughout history Black leaders from Congresswoman Shirley Chisholm to inventor Garret Augustus Morgan Sr. have demonstrated remarkable resilience. They have proven that feelings of inadequacy do not diminish our true skills. And there are powerful tools that any of us can use to build resilience and overcome imposter syndrome.  

Let’s consider one of those tools: Thought Inspection. At the core of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the idea that our thoughts drive our emotions. So, the first step to change how we feel is to identify our unhelpful thoughts. You might catch yourself thinking, “I just got lucky”. Or thinking “They’ll eventually realize I’m a fraud.” When this happens, pause and challenge these thoughts with evidence. Did you really get that promotion purely by chance? Or did your late nights and creative solutions play a role? And is it possible that others continue to see your strengths and hard work? 

Some of the most powerful evidence can be our past successes. You can start a log to collect evidence to challenge these unhelpful thoughts. Log each time you get positive feedback or complete a goal. Then when those imposter-like thoughts come up, you have a tool. Review your log to counter self-doubt with past evidence of your successes and strengths.  

Remember that imposter syndrome, while common, does not have to be permanent. As we honor Black History Month, we can draw inspiration from those who pushed through barriers despite feeling out of place. Their legacy reminds us that feeling like an imposter does not make you one.

It has been reported that 93% of teens use social media. Because they are growing and developing, it is really important that they know how to build a good relationship with social media. 

Building Social Media Resilience 

So how can you and your teens use social media wisely? It’s best for young kids to start social media later. This lets them focus on the real world and learn how to be with friends face-to-face. 

For those who are already using social media, there are other ways you can build resilience. This may include: 

Being on the lookout for ANTs. ANTs, or Automatic Negative Thinking Traps, cause you to make snap judgments. It’s important to look out for ANTs in your own thinking and in what others share online. Watch for these ANTs:  

• All or Nothing Thinking – stating thoughts in extremes. 
• Feeling makes fact – saying it is true because we feel it so strongly (and ignoring that there are other perspectives). 
• Labeling – using harsh labels for people and ignoring that each one of us is valuable.  

Setting boundaries. You can do this by being aware of what others are sharing. Unfollow, block, or turn off notifications from those who are using ANTs, sharing negative things, or being mean to others. 

Managing screen time. Set limits for yourself or the children and teens in your life. Make sure there are parts of the day that are social media free. Try to make sure you have as many in-person chats as you do on social media.  

Having healthy online connections. Research has shown that people in healthy relationships make 5 kind comments for every negative comment. Try this online as well. And disconnect from others who don’t seem to follow the 5 to 1 rule.  

We can control how we use social media. This can help limit the risks it can cause. There are many tools to help you build healthy social media habits like what we have shared above. Additional tools that focus on gratitude, hope, optimism, and building stronger relationships can be found in Learn to Live’s Resilience program.  

Have you ever thought about why two women who look so similar can feel so different about their bodies? One might feel confident and happy at the beach in a swimsuit, while the other might cover up everything. Even though their bodies are almost the same, they feel very differently. So, what makes this difference?

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) says that our thoughts about our bodies make us feel good or bad, not the shape or size of our bodies themselves. This means anyone can have positive thoughts about their body, no matter how it looks. It’s all about how we think.

When we feel bad about our bodies, we focus on what we don’t like about them. We might avoid playing sports or going swimming. We might feel ashamed and avoid looking at ourselves in the mirror or having our picture taken. We try to change our bodies by exercising a lot and eating healthy foods.

But when we feel good about our bodies, we think about what our bodies can do. We enjoy doing activities like fitness or sports. We feel happy when we look in the mirror wearing our favorite outfit. We like the way our bodies help us do things we love. We take care of our bodies with exercise and healthy foods because we want to keep them healthy.

To feel better about our bodies, CBT for women has some ideas for us. We can “inspect” our thoughts by asking ourselves questions like, “Do I need to look perfect to be attractive or valuable?” or “Have I seen any examples of happy women with bodies that look like mine?”

We can also “Find Out for Myself” by doing things that make us uncomfortable on purpose, like wearing shorts or a swimsuit in public. We look around and notice if anyone is staring or judging. Often, people don’t actually pay much attention to us or how we look.

Another helpful idea is “Thought Swapping.” Instead of saying bad things about our bodies, we can think of good things about the body parts we don’t like. For example, if we think our thighs are too big, we can say, “My thighs are strong and help me go to beautiful places.”

It’s also important to focus on health-related goals instead of just wanting to look a certain way. Some things, like hormones or health conditions, might make it hard to lose weight even if we eat well and exercise. Instead of weight goals, try setting health goals like improving A1C, blood pressure, or cholesterol levels.

Building more positive self-talk is an important way to support mental health for women. Remember, it takes time and practice to feel better about your body, but it’s worth it. It’s the only one you have.

It’s not about avoiding challenges but rather about facing them head on. Resilience is a key component of mental and emotional well-being. It can help us navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease.

An Opportunity for Growth

One way to become more resilience is to focus on growth. Growth is the process of learning and developing new skills, attitudes, and perspectives. It’s about discovering new possibilities. When we approach challenges with growth in mind, challenges can become opportunities. When we develop resilience, we become better equipped to handle adversity and to learn from it. Then when we focus on growth, we open ourselves up to new possibilities.

So how can we become more resilient? Here are a few tips: 

• Practice self-care. Take care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and prioritize rest and relaxation.
• Set goals and act. Identify what you want to achieve and take steps to make it happen.
• Seek help when needed. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support from friends, family, or professionals when you need it.
• Build a strong support network. Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you.

By developing resilience and focusing on growth, we can thrive in the face of challenges. It’s not always easy. Focus on a willingness to learn and grow to build a life that is full of meaning, purpose, and joy.