When our minds start to spin through all the changes that happen as we age, we can be left in a space feeling a profound sense of disconnect. This sense of feeling alone can happen even if we have people that care deeply about us.
If you do catch yourself in a spiral of worried thoughts, there are steps you can take. One powerful way to help you slow down and get yourself out of the spiral is by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness means staying present and aware without judgment. This allows you to do a few things: you can simply observe that you’re having these thoughts; you can remind yourself that the thoughts and feelings are only temporary; you can then ask yourself: “What truly matters to me right now?” and “How can my values guide me to refocus my time and energy in a meaningful way?”
The practice of mindfulness can become particularly valuable as we age. We can stop ourselves from getting lost in stories about what the changes of aging might mean. We can continue to focus on what we value most – even if this changes over time. No matter what is that you value, mindfulness can help guide you to live according to your values rather than your fears.
Turning our attention toward what we value is an important step. It’s also important to take meaningful action. Behavioral activation is a powerful tool that helps us do just that. Activation focuses on taking small steps to increase positive activities. We can use it to create meaningful connections to counter the loneliness that many feel as we age.
Creating connections will look different for everyone. You might start by calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Or getting lunch with a family member. You could consider finding others who share your interests. Maybe you do this by volunteering for a cause you care about or joining a club.
The goal is not to recreate the social life you may have had in the past. Who we are and what matters to will change with us as we age. We want to use mindfulness to stay present. And to direct our attention to what matters most. Activation can help us build connections. You want to use both tools in a way that will feel meaningful for who you are now.
As you continue to practice, those spirals of worry and feelings of loneliness begin to lose their grip. You can continue to grow and find new meaning and purpose with each new season of life.
