You finally crawl into bed after a long day, ready for some much-needed rest. Suddenly, every stressful thing you pushed aside during the day comes rushing back. Your thoughts turn over and over, filling you with worry and frustration as you realize these thoughts are keeping you awake. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Bedtime is a very common time for these worries to show up. It can be exhausting and feel like there is no way to stop the cycle. However, simply noticing your thoughts and learning how to work with them, instead of getting trapped by them, can make a big difference.
Our thoughts play a huge role in keeping us awake, whether they are general worries or just frustration about not being able to fall asleep. These thoughts might sound like, “I’m never going to fall asleep,” or “Tomorrow is going to be a disaster.” Most of us are never taught to slow down and ask if our thoughts are actually true, so we just believe them. When we believe them completely, they feel urgent, like we must take action or find an answer right now. That sense of urgency keeps our minds busy and makes it very hard for our bodies to truly relax.
We cannot just “turn off” our minds like a light switch, but once we see that thoughts are causing our sleeplessness, we can start to handle them differently. One way is to challenge the thought. Ask yourself if you know for sure that the worry is true. You can then try to replace an old thought, like “I’ll be useless tomorrow,” with a more balanced one, such as “I’ve managed to get through the day before even when I didn’t sleep perfectly.”
Another strategy is to practice mindfulness. This means letting your thoughts come and go like clouds in the sky. You observe them without getting stuck in them. You might quietly tell yourself, “That’s just my worried mind talking,” and then focus on your breathing or what you can hear and feel around you. A third option is to write your thoughts down and schedule a “Worry Time” for the next day. This gets the ideas out of your head and onto paper with a plan to fix them tomorrow. The physical act of writing helps many people let go of the stress long enough to calm their minds.
Instead of treating every thought as an emergency, try using one of these strategies. You can even try all of them to see which one works best for you. Over time and with practice, you can break the cycle of worry and give yourself a much better chance at a restful night. And if you want to learn more, our Insomnia program is a great place to start.
