Have you ever spent hours rewriting an email? Or put off starting something because you were afraid it wouldn’t be perfect? If so, perfectionism may be getting in your way. Many people think perfectionism helps them succeed. But it can also cause stress, worry, and frustration. It may even lead to putting things off or being too hard on yourself. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you build healthier habits and learn new ways of thinking.
CBT looks at how your thoughts, feelings, and actions are connected. People who struggle with perfectionism often have thoughts like, “If I make a mistake, I’m a failure,” or “If I’m not the best, I’m not good enough.” These thoughts can make you feel stressed and afraid of failing. CBT helps you notice these thoughts and replace them with ones that are more realistic and kinder. The goal is not to stop trying your best. The goal is to remember that your worth is about more than your performance.
One helpful CBT skill is learning to challenge all-or-nothing thinking. This happens when you see things as either perfect or a total complete failure. Instead, try looking for the middle ground. For example, instead of thinking, “I ruined that presentation,” you could say, “It wasn’t perfect, but I still did some things well.” This can help you feel more confident and less discouraged.
CBT also helps with procrastination. Many perfectionists put off starting a task because they are afraid of making mistakes. A good way to overcome this is to break big tasks into smaller steps and focus on making progress instead of being perfect. Taking small steps is usually better than waiting for the perfect time to begin.
Perfectionism is also fueled by a harsh inner voice. When you notice yourself thinking, “I’m a failure,” try replacing that thought with, “I made a mistake, but one mistake does not define me.” Talking to yourself with kindness can help you bounce back from challenges and keep moving forward. With practice, you can let go of perfectionism and build healthier habits that support both your goals and your emotional well-being.
The next time you catch yourself rewriting an email over and over or putting off a task until it feels perfect, ask yourself, “Is perfectionism helping me or holding me back?” If it’s holding you back, the Learn to Live Stress, Anxiety, and Worry program can be a great place to start!
